Tales from an EverQuest campaign

THE ADVENTURE BEGINS!
Our brave adventurers begin their careers in the great city of Freeport. Alganaei the Wood Elf ranger, Durotar Painkiller the Dwarven cleric, Galdor Fireswift the Eurudite wizard, Norman the Human warrior, Weadin the Wood Elf bard and the Wood Elf Druid. Their first mission to help the royal exterminator hunt and kill giant sewer rats. Unfortunately the Wood Elf Druid missed this first adventure due to family obligations and the need to relocate his parents and their belongings to a new tree house, but that’s what young Wood Elf druids are for.

Nothing, however, could have prepared me for what has happened in the last few days.

Rats. Yes rats with sharp pointy teeth, but I am getting ahead of myself. After years under the finest trainers the Steel Warriors had to offer, I get sent on my first assignment with little more than a sword shaped piece of rust and a discarded burial tunic(not a recent burial either). No one could ever accuse our fine leader of not having a (albeit sick) sense of humor.

So I go to the guild hall to check out who is offering work. Ah the exterminator needs help killing rats, I am in. Times must be tough in Faydwer these days as the crowd looking for work was more pathetic than I had ever seen it. Wood elves, dwarves, and even an Erudite! Lord Rallos! Do they have to come from the other side of the world to take our jobs? They were all small. There must be something in the water to make them all little like that, barely a muscle between them. My neck was getting sore bending down trying to hear what they were saying through there thick accents. The dwarf’s accent was the hardest to understand, but then again he probably was drunk judging by the purple stains in his (her?*) beard.

The dwarf was a priest, of Brell I think. He isn’t so bad once you get used to the smell. He is a fair fighter and a decent healer. He was quite surprising in melee, guess he must have though they stole his beer or something.

There was a wood elf bard. Yes a singer. No really he was a singer. Now stop laughing. Stop it. You ever hear of the pied piper? Do you want to her this story or not? Ok. He was scrawny but he had some good tunes. Really a lot of fun to cut orcs’ heads off to the beats he was weaving.

The other wood elf was a ranger. We could tell he really didn’t have a natural knack for swordplay so we pooled our money and got him a bow. He actually started to pull his weight in the battles, but he is only 98 pounds so his weight doesn’t mean as much as you might think.

Erudite wizard, that’s like saying useless paladin or evil necromancer, its implied. He had a good little wrist shot with his spells, as he killed quite a few of the weaker foes. Doubt he could take a good punch in the face though. I will have to let him hide behind me.

The battles were really quite typical. Warriors charge, healers try to keep up with healing, warrior get too hurt because healer can't keep up, casters get scared and run, warrior covers escape.

Norman of The Steel Warriors

* Its really hard for non dwarves to tell if a dwarf is male or female, and from the low birth rate, and high constipation rate of their species its likely that dwarves have trouble telling too. Will use the term he to mean he/she/it in regards to dwarves.

Alganaei

It all started out harmless enough. Where should I start [pause], ah yes now I remember we went looking for a bazaar of some sort. That's pretty bizarre isn't it. We had a new recruit, thought it was a druid, but it turned out to be a barbarian warrior thank god. It gets all gets fuzzy from there, a few fights with beetles and such creatures. It was all going good, fighters were kicking butt wizard was blasting and the cleric was healing and i was picking up the slop. Then we came across some pumas, there in the canine class for those of you who don't know what a puma is. It's a ferocious cat with big claws just ask the fighters they will tell you. I warned them not to fool with mother nature but they persisted. Their pelts were worth something and they were there lives. Those fools got clawed and scratched to death and I had to drag them back to rez them and spent all the adventuring loot [it wasn't much]. Just me and the wizard survived. I thought twice about killing that wizard and taking everything for myself he makes me uncomfortable with that slanted head and all. But I decided to spare his life one notched arrow would drop him right in his tracks just have to get that arrow of before he utters a curse or something. The dwarf was great until he died. I had to bind the party at zero and he didn't do much hitting this adventure probably because the two sponges I mean fighters were soaking everything up. He spent most of his time healing and not yaulping. Then there's Weadin ... is that his name or what he has been smoking he's like a doormat. Every time I turn around he's on his back or in the fetal position. We made it to the bazaar but had no money to buy anything and then went back were we came from. This group is not much for money but the exp is nice. I have reached fourth level and my true power is starting to show next level, three attacks a round, I just need money to buy some more arrows. It's been pretty embarrassing travel with these low level characters but they showed me some spunk and resilience I'll give it another go next adventure they need me and I'm not much for letting people down

Alganaei ace archer

Durotar Painkiller signing in. Hello? Is this thing on? Oh, I see. Fine if you don’t want to turn this thing on I’ll have to. Then go. Come on, I’m not getting any younger. The blue cord you idiot. NOOOOOOOOOO! Not the red cord, the blue co

Sorry about that, my agent doesn’t know anything about technology. I never realized that humans only have about 2% of a hit point. Just one measly explosion and they go boom. His red blood stained my facial hair, honestly.

Durotar Painkiller signing in. When I need relieve from heartburn fast I use, oh sorry, wrong script,

Scene one I’m too bored and tired to put when it was so…

Durotar Painkiller signing in. I know you may ask yourself "How is the son of the purple dwarf such a cleric? Why didn’t he choose the way of the warrior? How long do you think it will last? I bet you ten gold pieces he won’t last longer then fourteen minutes without fighting something." When I think these things I wonder if my conscience is talking, I usually tell it in a very nice way, "SHUT UP, I’M TRYING TO KILL SOMETHING HERE!" oh, yeah last session of D&D. Hmm, I wonder how to put this? Think of English class. Think of English class. Aha, I have it. A poem,

P.S. I think they come when you pee, because when we were fighting the pumas, an arrow fell from the heavens and landed in your quiver.

Ahh yes,

Let me think how to explain this. Fighters Fight in the front and do damage and take damage (meat shield). They have more hitpoints. Ranger Hide in the back and shoot arrows. Do a lot of damage and don't take very much. Wizard Stay in the back and point your finger and due severe damage. If they get hit they die. Bard I am like BASF. I don't make things. I make things BETTER. I can't take much damage yet or dish out a lot, but I help the Fighters and Rangers dish it out and take it.

Now, there is a point to all this.

Cleric Hmmm Healer, when peeps are about to die or after they get hit. Buff the party before battle and keep them alive to fight another day. Did I say healer yes I did, Not a front line Fighter, although at a last resort it is nice to know he can handle it, but to die in the beginning and leave us with no Heals is not good.

Weadin

PS. I am still practicing a few songs that will really help out.

Well, another days work accomplished… HOW WORTHLESS!!! We get but a few silver pieces, nothing new but exp! The ranger is running out of arrows and we have 1 gold left for him?!? How are we going to survive? Of course, they come crawling to me for help. "Well," says I, "We should possibly go kill some orcs, they have some good spoils." *Applause* Well, wasn’t that easy? Anyway….

We find out about some great bazaar that you can buy nearly anything at so we decide, ‘Why not go check it out? It’s only a couple hours away.’ So, a couple of hours it is. We head in a couple hours, half the party dies, only me and the ranger endure, we have to drag 2 people (LIFELESS corpses) back to town. I have to carry the alcohol-forsaken dwarf. Of course I have to carry the bad luck fortune. So with my new 300 lbs. bad luck talisman, I’m walking back, minding my own business, when shwooshooooshooooshcrackbangexplosionpowbang. A bolt comes soaring in out of nowhere. I had to make a choice of carrying the dwarf back or dropping him and running, well, since I’m a nice guy, I tried to carry him back, but his immeasurable immensity got caught on a tree, so I had no choice but to leave him there. Well, after all that we have to get a rez for the entire group and spend all the dwindling dough we had earned. We went back and finally after a long hard day we make it to this bizarre bazaar we had been waiting for. Wow. Looks like a bunch of hot dog stands. Oooh look its some of those giant pretzels! To bad we have ten gold pieces to spend on this super shopping spree. Well we are through here, we come back and we have wasted our time. I got a couple of levels, our cleric is the runt, and the ranger, and me if we keep it up, will be the super-powers of the group. Fear my wrath.

Galdor Fireswift. Eternal Fire

I awoke to find my mouth filled with dirt. With a heave I spat the dirt from my mouth and with a groan rolled onto my back. I tried to open my eyes but my face was wet and sticky with a dark liquid. The liquid tasted like blood, my blood. I suddenly realized the mistake of lying on my back and twisted to my side to retch violently.

Once my stomach had calmed I started to take in my surroundings. Although I was still nearly blind from the mix of dirt and blood, the soft squeaking of rats along with the smell of rotting garbage reminded me that I was in an alley: The alley where I fought, the alley where I lost.

I would have been content just to lie there but for the chatter of the rats scurrying away. The alley was suddenly quiet, someone was coming. I squinted to get a look at the stranger but night had fallen making it that much more difficult to see him clearly. I tried to stand but the best I could manage was to drag myself to the alley wall and sit up. The stranger was a man dressed in fine robes and carrying a long mace. His aged face seemed oblivious to his surroundings, including me. He shuffled just past me, paused and without turning to look at me, spoke.

"The battle; how was it?" The robed man said

"Good" I said with a whisper, surprised at my response.

The man smiled, turned to me and knelt down. He braced himself with his weapon in one hand and offered me the other. As he pulled me to my feet I noticed his weapon was not a mace at all, but a long staff topped with a skull. Though we had not met before, he seemed …familiar.

We walked slowly down the alley and the robed man spoke softly without looking at me.

"You are wondering why." the robed man said

"Why?" I asked.

"Yes why. You are wondering why you were attacked, why they did not kill you and why I stopped for you?" the robed man said

I nodded.

"Discord." the robed man said.

The robed man continued louder, half laughing "You try to look surprised, when you really are not at all are you? It is about Discord. It is always about Discord."

The Bazaar; Hub of Platinum, Center of Cash it is also called. It is the place where goods simple and exotic are exchanged from all over Norrath. It was this Bazaar that we sought that fateful day.

"Only take you a week or so, should be no problem" The guard said.

He was right it only took a week, but it was a bit of a problem.

It seems he neglected to tell us about the vicious animals that populated the route form Freeport to the Bazaar. Many of the animals were quite a bit more fearsome that the orcs, bats, and rats we had become accustomed to fighting.

The first sign of trouble is when I heard the Cleric’s battle cry that quickly turned into a cry for help that was brutally cut short. It’s best to leave the combat to the professionals. The barbarian warrior fell just as quickly…the bigger they are…the dumber they are.

The Bard was able to stand for a bit using his fetal position defense moves. The moves would have been laughable if they were not so effective. The last thing I remember before I looked into the light was the ranger sneaking away on his hands and knees, and the wizard hiking up his skirt, losing his high heels and running like a transvestite on the way to a wonder bra sale.

Norman of The Steel Warriors

From Alganaei

Were to start were to start ahh… yes the wood elf that's me. I was the leader once again. Well I was scouting out ahead, that would make me the leader wouldn't you say. On our mission for some money to buy some stuff I single handedly ambushed three orcs and lead them straight into our fierce fighting group. It was not my fault the cleric was standing there picking boogers and crumbs out of her beard. And down he goes like a ton of bricks but we prevailed of course thanks to my fancy shooting, egg head's bolt spells and the two fighters. As tough as they look, don't tell anyone I said this, but wow maybe the one should have followed in his mothers footsteps and practiced some form of arcane knowledge, he obviously did not spend as much time watching his father in his craft. He must have watched his uncle by all accounts, he was in the circus and can you guess what he was. That's right a juggler, he was swinging and tossing all day coming up empty handed. All the time no weapon I mean and now it's rubbing off on the new guy. His hammer must be real heavy cause he keeps dropping it all the time, also he's not very bright but he hits more often than the other fighter. Plus he's a good chap, he will take one square in the chops for the team as he did, two hits and down he went. Now they don't know this but I also took two hits from those orcs and then lead them to the party for there slaying. He simply dropped and we had to rez him, you do the math two hits and two hits and who's here to tell the whole story again. Then there's Weadin. Still have not figured out if that's his name or what he is smoking. He's starting to carry a good tune now, at least I am starting to feel a little better when he's blowing and beating on something. Plus he's a wood elf. He's all right just a little strange. Then we found all kind of good stuff. Sold it and made better stuff fireswift can knit pretty swift, that's all I can say. He made me some cool stuff. It will help us out next time we adventure. That's for sure! I'm looking forward to the next outing already. Until we meet again

Alganaei Ranger Extrodanair

The robed man spoke of Discord, of War and of Rebirth. He spoke of the gods, and of Veeshan, the creator of the world. He spoke of the potential of man and how it was our destiny to become more godlike. It was a destiny that could only be reached though conflict. There could be no improvement as long as we suffered the presence of the weak in our midst. The weaklings that dilute our strength must be cleansed in order for the strong to flourish.

The robed man then lifted his hand close to his face. He looked fascinated at the ant that was crawling across the back of his hand. He then bent down and gently brushed the ant off into an anthill that was at his feet. "There you go" He said "Go home"

"Those who protect the weak are fools and are showing that they are unfit to continue to their destiny" The robed man said frowning. With those words he lifted his foot and stomped the anthill flat.

I must have had a confused look on my face for the robed man then continued.

"Many of them just died, but look already…the strong ones are already starting to rebuild. The next generation will be stronger than the last, much better to take on the challenges that are before them. Discord is the only true way."

Soon after that I took my leave of the robed man. The sun was coming up and I had much to think about.

Norman of The Steel Warriors

Well, that could have happened a lot better, I think we all had a bit of an off day. I will describe a story of what happened during one of our battles:

It is a quiet day in the woods, our ranger is scouting ahead looking for any sort of prey we might be able to hunt down and slay. He finds some orcs discussing something in orcish, when he steps on a twig, SNAP! The orcs lift up their heads, but are not very concerned. Then they continue their conversation. The ranger hoots 3 times like a barn owl, signaling to us that he has found prey. We get ready. The cleric is saying, "Where are the little orcs, I can take ‘em! Show me some of those slimy orcs!" The ranger shoots the orcs a couple of times, (Not dropping any of course) and runs back to the group, whizzing by the cleric. The cleric turns around and there are a few orcs in his face. They pound him into a pulp with attacks to spare. The warriors charge in, "We will help you sir cleric!" and "Me help make better guy" Swish! Thunk! Clunk! The warrior’s sword flies out of his hand, the barbarian looses his grip on his hammer and it hits his skull and ricochets down to the ground. Then I decide it’s time for me to save the day. "Prepare to die An Orc Centurion." I blast the weaker one, but it takes me about 18 seconds to kill him while everyone else is weakening the Legionnaire. The bard starts thumping on his drums and causing 1 damage every 6 seconds. The cleric wakes up crawls away, and looks at the orc, with a sort of sly smile and says, "Ah, I feel much better now." So, we finally kill them and take the spoils back home. We need a little battle training. How can you blame us? We’re only 2nd-4th level. Anyway, next time we will all be a little smarter, and I will write this earlier so I can remember everything that happened in the session.

Galdor Fireswift

Man, that was a lousy session of D&D. First, the ranger found some easy kills, I mean orcs and pulled them. So far this seems normal but, it gets even more normal. He comes up to me, badly wounded, asking for a cure. I’m a nice guy so I gave the poor guy one but right after I heal the idiot a ton of orcs jump on me. The ranger trained me, yes me, the cleric, THE CLERIC! They hit me with all they’ve got but did nothing save turn my head with that magical sword of his. Here’s the worst part, he forced me to look at the Eurodite’s forehead and I fell down on the ground and laughed for about three rounds. Then I got up and blah blah blah blah (nothing happened after that, I mean it.)

The next day we were fighting the same thing and fansy speshel intelejens gie coodnt deside if he shood atak da reely ingered ork oar da perfekly not ingered ok. (For those that don’t speak Erudition, that says fancy, special intelligence guy couldn’t decide if he should attack the injured orc or the perfectly not injured orc.)

At the end of the session, because of me we had like 5k gold pieces, so we bought spells that we needed and some that we would need in the future. I saved the party a bunch of gold because I had I spell that I wanted to make, and if I didn’t succeed, we would buy it. I needed a sixteen or up on a twenty-sided die and of course I made it, because I rolled a seventeen. ALL HAIL ME, KING OF THE HEALERS, SON OF NONE OTHER THAN THE PURPLE DWAAAAARRRFF!

Durotar Painkiller

WAZZZZZZZZUP, THIS IS DUROTAR PAINKILLER!!!!!!!

Hello all of you. Get ready for a short story compared to my life span. So, we’re walking, and we’re walking, and uhhhhhhhm we’re walking and boom. Somebody farted and made a hole in the chair. No, wait, that was me. Oh yeah, I’m back in business! Now, seriously, we’re walking and the ranger is ahead of us looking for Waldo or something ‘cause that guy was going like 2 miles an hour and it doesn’t work because a whole army of orcs come charging at us but the only ones who were fast enough to get away without a bard song were Adam and I. The next time we found the army there were three scouts ahead so we decided to kill those first, but they ran. Then we found a group of seven other orcs so we fought and easily killed those, but the next battle gets complicated. Not only were there about a dozen orcs, one was an oracle and there was an apprentice. Adam was not doing any damage with his spells, but he was attacking the oracle a lot and it attacked him. He actually attacked him and I, but first of all he attacked Adam and got a poison on him, then one on me. After that he started to do damage to us. Adam was always getting knocked down, but I was healing him. After hope was lost with Adam, the others told me to stop healing him and heal them or myself. The warrior orcs attacked me and I got knocked unconscious and almost died. Hope was looking slim, and one of our warriors was down and our ranger had six hit points left. Luckily, the other warrior had a good taunt roll and saved the rangers butt. When we won, the only three standing were the ranger, the warrior and the bard, but the bard used his healing song to heal the knocked out warrior and I. The wizard had not only taken one for the group, but by dying, saved the group from the cleric using any further spells on him.

Durotar Painkiller

This Cleric WILL HAVE REVENGE! It is a fine day. We go orc hunting. We see a massive train of orcs. Dang newbies, always training the village, anyway… We are hunting them down in small groups, we are just resting and regrouping, when a cluster of them comes in, we get in formation, but they holler out in orc (which only I can understand) They’re over here! Make haste! So we fall back again and regroup, and then we find a group of 3 of them, so we slay them, then another group arrives, a bit harder, so we’re doing reasonable, then we’re not. I’m down on the ground dying from the poisonous ray their ‘hack’ casters emit. With my last words I ask the Cleric for one heal which will save my life, just one free action heal. He says "NO you are at –7 I am at 26! I need it much more than you do!" And the last bit of life is sucked out of my body. Then the orcs take him down. -5, -6, -7, they aren’t going to heal him! -8, -9 And the bard turns on the heal song. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! He gets healed. He stands up points at my body and laughs. I CAN’T STAND IT! He deserved to die. That’s All I can say. But, on the other hand that AoE is turning out handy it increased my kill count by 20. I did get a 50% rez too. That makes it a little better to handle. We should set aside 1000 gp for each person to cover any rez costs. That would make dying priceless.

Galdor Fireswift

Again,

Over worked under appreciated.

Our story begins again around Freeport, we are in search of those ugly dirty dwarfs, I mean orcs. Ahh we find a large group of them, to many for my liking, so I play a peppy little tune so we can get our arses out of there. Later in the day we find some not so fortunate Orcs and decide to clobber them. Mr Forehead is a tough guy when he stands behind us and can cast spells on defenseless mobs, heh. Guess what happen when one casted on him, he turtled on the ground in agony and died. I felt sorry for the poor sap, especially since the great Healer was laughing at him. I didn't see him laughing though when he was lying on the ground in the fetal position with blood coming out of his body. Good thing for him I know a special song with my violin, otherwise he would have been rezzed along with Mr Forehead. Ohh where was I, the Orcs. They were a tough lot, but the warrior and the barbarian are finally starting to kill a few mobs now. And Alganaei, ranger extraordinar, is one hell of a shot with that Bow.

All in all, I think we are really starting to come together. We took care of a few groups of Orcs and are learning quickly. Soon we will travel Norathh and find some larger more dangerous foes.

Weadin
Jack of all trades.

Well it was another adventure and another death. This time it was the wizard and not one of the tanks! Go figure. I have just started practicing using magic spells, flame lick, snare, things like that and cures of course, the minor type 1 d 10. It helps. The wizard would not have fallen if that cleric, if that's what he really is, could roll anything more than 1 to 3 on a fricking cure. I would be talking about all my dazzling shots I made instead. He had to stop curing the wizard and start healing the fighters and myself. I feel the wizards pain but trust me oh slanted head one, you will exact revenge one day and it will be hardy, just tuck that one under your wizard cap for later. What goes around comes around. Well that's enough said. I believe all-in-all fighters fought and the archer shot and we came up on the better end of the coin this time with a little luck. Them fighters I do believe can speak orc. I cannot but every time we start fighting they start talking sweet nothings to them and blowing kisses and they always go after them. I don't know what there saying but it must be something about there mothers. It really gets them going. Weadin is starting to pay big dividends. All this time I didn't know what he did for the love of Treebeard. But some of his tunes are catchy, looking forward to the next adventure. The only thing scaring me is I have not died yet and we seem to be taking turns. I will be extra careful next time. Stay in the middle next to the cleric. Well on second thought next to the bard I have a feeling that the cleric is going to turn into a lightning rod? Just call it a lucky guess, ohh slanty one did you catch that lightning rod. Don't worry dwarfs aren't very smart he wont get it ... I mean the saying not the lightning

Alganaei Ranger Extraordinar

Galdor Fireswift. Eternal Fire.

 The Way of Wind

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